My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
