Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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