Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
