so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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