Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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