you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
