why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
