it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
