this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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