At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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