He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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