I got chris browned last night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize