Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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