Umm I'm too high to move.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
