Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
