He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize