grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
