I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
