brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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