When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
