so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
