Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
