My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
