Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
