it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize