what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
