hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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