They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
