If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
