am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
