remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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