what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was born a porn star she said
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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