But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
