the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
