i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
