I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
