You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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