I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize