Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I will be naked everywhere
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize
