If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
