Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
