Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize