I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
they're like a gay fantastic four
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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