This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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