I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize