yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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