Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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