After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Randomize
