I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
