it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
