i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
