when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
