you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
