He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
