The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
