don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
