Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
